Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Okay, I Hereby Retract the Last Post

Written 1 April, 2009

Okay, I hereby Retract the Last Post

I read my April Fool joke to Sweetie. She didn't find it funny. It was depressing, she said. And you know, she's right. I take it back.

I asked Sweetie what WOULD be a funny April Fool joke, and she said we should hire newbies to toilet paper the virtual world headquarters of Linden Lab. While the Lindens were distracted, we would sneak in and steal all the Linden dollars confiscated from the failed virtual banks and give it all away like twin Robin Hoods-- er, Maid Marions.

We have it on good authority those Lindens are sitting in a primmy piggy bank on the desk of former Chief Financial Officer Zee Linen, unguarded since Zee's departure last week.

"Or wouldn't it be fun," Sweetie said, "to call Jack Linden on the phone and tell him we at the bank have decided to increase his rent by the same amount he increased the price of Homesteads?"

Or how about raising the ocean level on Whimsy to 100 meters, putting our residents' houses underwater?

Or doing 100 bottles of beer on the wall with group messages.

Or making Whimsy's entry point in mid-air, 4000 meters up.

Or going to the fanciest shoe store we can think of (Moody Stiletto's, maybe) and pulling a die-in with all our friends, claiming the clackety shoe sound is causing massive cerebral hemmorhages.

Anything but my previous depressing message.

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